21 Tips to Release Self-Neglect
“Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” – L. Hay
One of the most important decision of your life, the one that will affect every other decision you make, is to make the commitment to love and accept yourself. Whether you love yourself or not strongly affects the quality of all aspects of your life, including relationships, career, time alone and can affect decisions you make for your future.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” “If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” “Demonstrate love by giving it, unconditionally, to yourself. And as you do, you will attract others into your life who will love you without conditions.” - Thich Nhat Hanh.
I read these 21 steps to release self-neglect in the Tiny Buddha and wanted to share them with you.
Read on for steps to discover your worth and envelop yourself in affection and appreciation.
1. Begin your day with love (not technology)
Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Breathe in love and breathe out love. Enfold yourself in light. Saturate your being in love.
2. Take time to meditate and journal.
Spend time focusing inward daily. Begin with five minutes of meditation and five minutes of journalising each morning. Gradually increase this time.
3. Talk yourself happy.
Use affirmations to train your mind to become more positive. Put a wrist band on your right wrist. When you’re participating in self-criticism, move the band to your left wrist.
4. Get emotionally honest.
Let go of numbing your feelings. Shopping, eating, and drinking alcohol are examples of avoiding discomfort, sadness, and pain. Mindfully breathe your way through your feelings and emotions.
5. Expand your interests.
Try something new, like learning a new language, or travel to places you’ve never been. Do things you haven’t done before. You have a right to a remarkable life.
6. Enjoy life-enhancing activities.
Find an exercise you like. Discover healthy foods that are good for you. Turn off technology for a day and spend time doing things that make you feel alive.
7. Become willing to surrender.
Breathe, relax, and let go. You can never see the whole picture. You don’t know what anything is for. Stop fighting against yourself by thinking and desiring people and events in your life should be different. Your plan may be different from your soul’s intentions.
8. Work on personal and spiritual development.
Life is a learning journey, so it is essential to be willing to surrender and grow. We are here to learn and love on a deeper level. Take small steps, and life becomes less difficult. One step at a time is enough to proceed forward.
9. Own your potential.
Love yourself enough to believe in the limitless opportunities available to you. Take action and create a beautiful life for yourself.
10. Be patient with yourself.
Let go of urgency and fear. Relax and transform striving into thriving. Trust in yourself, do good work, and you will see results.
11. Live in appreciation.
Train your mind to be grateful. Appreciate your talents, beauty and brilliance. Love your imperfectly perfect self.
12. Be guided by your intuition.
All answers come from within. Look for signs and pay attention to your gut feelings. You’ll hear two inner voices when you need to make a decision. The quiet voice is your higher self; the loud voice is your ego, so listen to the more subdued voice.
13. Do what honours and respects you.
Don’t participate in activities that bring you down. Don’t allow toxic people in your life. Love everyone. But be discerning on who you allow into your life.
14. Accept uncertainty.
Suffering comes from living in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Put your attention on the present moment and be at peace.
15. Forgive yourself.
Learn from your mistakes and go forward. Use this affirmation, “I forgive myself for judging myself for __________ (fill in the blank).
16. Discover the power of fun.
Self-love requires time to relax, play, and create face-to-face interaction with others. Our fast-paced world creates a goal setting, competitive craziness that doesn’t leave room for play. As Dr Stuart Brown says, “The opposite of play isn't working; it is depression.” - his Ted Talk below is worth watching.
17. Be real.
Speak up and speak out. Allow yourself to be seen, known and heard. Get comfortable with intimacy (in-to-me-see).
18. Focus on the positive.
Go to your heart and dwell on and praise yourself for what you get right in all areas.
19. Become aware of self-neglect and rejection.
Become conscious of your choices. Ask yourself several times throughout the day, “Does this choice honour me?” If not, then it is time for a change. We often hold onto the old choices because they served us in the past, but you will know when it is time to let them go.
20. Imagine what your life would look like if you believed in your worth.
Dedicate your life to loving you. Make it your main event.
21. Seek professional help.
Self-rejection and neglect can be painful. You deserve to be happy and find love as everyone does. If necessary, seek help from a support group, counsellor, or coach. It’s the best investment you can make.
“F.L.Y. First Love Yourself. Others will come next.”
Carolyn (Caz) Rowland is a fashion designer at Cazinc The Label, model, lifestyle blogger and professional Image Stylist. Caz is also a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching. Caz is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.
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