Let's Make 2019 Your Best Year Ever.
This article is inspired by The Tiny Buddha.
It’s that time of year again when many people make their ‘New Year’s Resolutions’. But for many of us, by the end of January we are already letting these slip away and feeling a little guilty that yet again we haven’t changed things we think we need to in our lives. I’m here to tell you not to be so hard on yourself! And to share with you some background reminders of why we feel pressured to change, the benefits of self-love and 21 wonderful ideas to help you be the best and happiest you without having to make those resolutions.
We often learn by society that our worth is found in the idols of our culture—technology, status, youth, sex, power, money, attractiveness, and romantic relationships.
If you base your self-worth on the external world, you’ll never be capable of self-love.
Your inner critic will flood you with thoughts of “I’m not enough, I don’t have enough, and I don’t do enough.”
Feelings of lack are never-ending. Every time a goal is reached, or you possess the next big thing, your ego will move the line.
When you shift the perception of yourself, to feel worthy requires you to see yourself with fresh eyes of self-awareness and love. Acceptance and love must come from within, not from others, including your partner.
You don’t have to be different to be worthy. Your worth is in your true nature, a core of love and inner goodness. You are a beautiful light. You are love. We can bury our magnificence, but it’s impossible to destroy.
Loving ourselves isn’t a one-time event. It’s an endless, ongoing process.
It begins with you, enveloping yourself in your affection and appreciation.
Here are 21 Tips to Release Self-Neglect and Love Yourself in Action.
It is a list I used a long time ago when I wasn't in a very good headspace. Print it off to put on your bathroom mirror or other place where you will see it often, as a daily reminder to love yourself and live your life to the fullest.
1. Begin your day with love (not technology).
Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Breathe in love and breathe out love. Encase yourself in the light. Saturate you being in love.
2. Take time to meditate and journal.
Spend time focusing inward daily. Begin with five minutes of meditation and five minutes of journaling each morning. Gradually increase this time.
3. Talk yourself happy.
Use affirmations to train your mind to become more positive. Put a wristband on your right wrist. When you are participating in self-criticism, move the band to your left wrist.
4. Get emotionally honest.
Let go of numbing your feelings. Shopping, eating, and drinking are examples of avoiding discomfort, sadness, and pain. Mindfully breathe your way through your feelings and emotions.
5. Expand your interests.
Try something new. Learn a language. Go places you’ve never been. Do things you haven’t done before. You have a right to a remarkable life.
6. Enjoy life-enhancing activities.
Find an exercise you like; for example, I love Pilates. Discover healthy foods that are good for you. Turn off technology for a day and spend time doing things that make you feel alive.
7. Become willing to surrender.
Breathe, relax, and let go. You can never see the whole picture. You don’t know what anything is for. Stop fighting against yourself by thinking and desiring people and events in your life should be different. Your plan may be different from your soul’s intentions.
8. Work on personal and spiritual development.
Be willing to surrender and grow. Life is a journey. We are here to learn and love on a deeper level. Take penguin steps, and life becomes difficult. One step at a time is enough to proceed forward.
9. Own your potential.
Love yourself enough to believe in the limitless opportunities available to you. Take action and create a beautiful life for yourself.
10. Be patient with yourself.
Let go of urgency and fear. Relax and transform striving into thriving. Trust in yourself, do good work, and you will see results.
11. Live in appreciation.
Train your mind to be grateful. Appreciate your talents, beauty, and brilliance. Love your imperfectly perfect self.
12. Be guided by your intuition.
All answers come from you. Look for signs and pay attention to your gut feelings. You’ll hear two inner voices when you need to make a decision. The quiet voice is your higher self; the loud voice is your ego. Always go with the more subdued voice.
13. Do what honours and respects you.
Don’t participate in activities that bring you down. Don’t allow toxic people in your life. Love everyone but be discerning on who you let into your life.
14. Accept uncertainty.
Suffering comes from living in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Put your attention on the present moment and be at peace.
15. Forgive yourself.
Learn from your mistakes and go forward. Use this affirmation, “I forgive myself for judging myself for __________ (fill in the blank, i.e., for getting sick, for acting out, for not doing your best).
16. Discover the power of fun.
Self-love requires time to relax, play, and create face-to-face interaction with others. Our fast-paced world creates a goal setting, competitive craziness that doesn’t leave room for play. Dr Stuart Brow says, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it is depression.”
17. Be real.
Speak up and speak out. Allow yourself to be seen, known, and heard. Get comfortable with intimacy and being you.
18. Focus on the positive.
Go to your heart and dwell on and praise yourself for what you get right in all areas.
19. Become aware of self-neglect and rejection.
Become conscious of your choices. Ask yourself several times throughout the day, “Does this choice honour me?”
20. Imagine what your life would look like if you believed in your worth.
Dedicate your life to loving you. Make it your main event.
21. Seek professional help.
Self-rejection and neglect are painful. You deserve to be happy. You have a right to be accepted and loved. If necessary, seek help from a support group, counsellor, or a coach. It’s the best investment you can make.
Because we are all interconnected, when I love me, I also love you. Together through our love, we can heal ourselves, each other, and the world. Love is our purpose, our true calling. It begins with and within each of us.
Great reminders to lead us towards a happier 2019. Let’s make this our best year ever.
Carolyn (Caz) Rowland is a fashion designer, model, lifestyle blogger and professional Image Stylist. Caz is also a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching. Caz is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.