What Saved Me As A Parent With My Child Who Was Different?
When I gave birth to my first son Luke, everything was textbook. According to the “rules of life”, Luke fitted in well. He was a perfect baby who ate and slept, a beautiful and well-mannered boy who had a love of Power Rangers, and a boy who slotted in well with the mainstream school system. Luke went right through school and now has a university degree.
The moment my second son, Joshua (Josh as he likes to be called) was born I knew he was different. Call it a mother’s instinct, but I knew. Josh was perfect in my eyes, and there was nothing wrong with him, but I knew there was something distinctive about my beautiful second son.
Josh was unique. As a little boy, he hated to be confined and often ran off into danger, or wandered off (usually in the nude because he hated clothes) to visit the dogs next door, or once dressed in nothing but his Dorothy the dinosaur hat and tail I found Josh playing in the park around the corner.
Josh was happy, but he was also sensitive. Josh had, and still has a love for all animals. He would sit calmly patting the animals who in turn all loved him. Josh had a teddy bear called “soft bear” who he would cuddle at night, upside down, as he loved rubbing the soft fur at the bottom of the bears' feet.
Like the bear being upside down, so was my parenting when it came to Josh. This child wasn’t textbook like Luke. He hated going to kindergarten. Once he was there, he was ok, but getting him there and leaving him was a nightmare. The same went on with school. Josh went to a school next door to our property, where I was often phoned as Josh would escape school to go and sit in the paddock in between the two properties. I would have to go and sit with Josh to calm him down so he could go back to school.
I always knew by the look on Joshie’s face when he turned into our property what kind of a day he had at school, and if it was bad I would send him out to jump on the trampoline for fifteen minutes to calm down so we could talk about it rather than yell.
Josh went on to complete Year 12, but to do this we pulled him out of a mainstream school and sent him to an alternative school to complete his studies. Josh just passed, but he passed, and he stuck it out, which is why we are so proud of him. He now works in construction with machinery. Josh has a strong work ethic and is extremely happy, which is all we wanted for all our children; to be confident and happy.
I love our Joshie to pieces. We always cooked together and Josh has always been talented with art, including his tattoos, which all have a meaning to Josh. But there was a time I didn’t know what to do with this child, including times of tears and frustration where I could have given him back to the angels.
Why? Because I didn’t understand Josh. Just like Avak stated in his article with his son Nicholas, we all have dreams with our children, and sometimes the goals change.
So, what was the change for me?
I read a book about "Indigo children" which changed my life. This lead to me doing a great deal of research about Indigo children and helped me to understand my creative, sensitive and emotional son.
My son didn’t have ADD, which Indigo children are often diagnosed as. I have had many parents come to see me for coaching who are blaming themselves for their children being different and don’t know what to do with the child. Once they too understood the Indigo child and changed the way they parented, their relationship with their child changed for the better also.
Indigo children are known to be expressive, sensitive and some to have psychic abilities. These children often rebel to the traditional ways of learning and general knowledge, as they try to show their teachers a "better way" of learning. Often Indigo children can be headstrong and don't like to be told what to do, they insist on doing things their way, but these incredible children often grow up into positions of leadership and influence. They are always improving their skills, wisdom and creativity.
Do you think your child could be and Indigo child? If so, the following questions might give you some answers.
Is your child wise beyond their years?
Do they have trouble conforming to the ways of the society?
Do they perceive the world differently than most people around them?
Do they feel that they have a higher purpose in life that the world is not evident in other people?
Do they feel isolated and misunderstood in their beliefs?
Do they have unusual sensitivities?
If you are a parent, try to establish a closer relationship with your child to meet his individual needs. You need to understand what is required to have a harmonious relationship with your extraordinary child. Love, tolerance, acceptance and respect will be necessary parenting skills you need to raise an Indigo child.
But if you are still wondering whether your child belongs to this personality type, start embracing the fact that they are a unique person and that they may have an equally unique calling or purpose in life.
The book I read was: The Indigo Children - The New Kids Have Arrived by Lee Carroll. Purchase here from Amazon, or ask your local bookstore to order in for you.
Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist. Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.