My Top 10 Key Ingredients For A Happy Relationship

My Top 10 Key Ingredients For A Happy Relationship

I often write relationship articles on other couples, but on the weekend a friend asked me “how do you and Simon do it, stay madly in love and be so happy together after so long?” which got me thinking. 

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During twenty-four years of marriage, working with my husband and raising four children together, it hasn’t always been easy, but here are the top ten things which have helped make the journey together easier, romantic, passionate and most of all, fun!


1.    Communication is vital.

I write this over and over and over again in nearly every relationship article - we are not mind readers.  Going quiet does not help when you have issues with something.  Talking to your partner is the only way to let them know what you are thinking.  If your partner says they are “fine”, but with a certain tone, it is time for “all tools down” because it means they are not okay and need to talk.

2.    Saying Sorry

Being able to admit you are wrong to your partner is key to any healthy relationship.  We never go to bed angry with each other (here is communication again) and we always say we are sorry if we have hurt each other.

3.    Compromise

This is another essential element to any happy relationship, especially when you are busy people.  We help each other to pick up the pieces around the house if one is busier than the other at work, or compromise where and what we eat and enjoy.  It is funny because over the years, through compromising we often enjoy the same things now.  By compromising you learn and grow together.

4.    Trust

Definitely in our top five most important things.  I couldn’t be with a partner if we didn’t trust each other and have each other’s back.  We don’t lie, cheat or be deceitful.  Trust is an essential ingredient for a fabulous relationship.

5.    Kindness

A relationship full of yelling, backstabbing and anger is toxic for everyone.  The secret to being kind to anyone else is to be kind to yourself first.  Kindness is the ripple effect of more kindness.  

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6.    Laugh

We laugh nearly every day over the silly little things we do or say.  Sometimes the kids think we are mad the way we laugh together and at ourselves.  There is so much fun to be had in the short time we are on this earth and man oh man, we are going to laugh about it! We lead a mad and crazy life, but we always have plenty of laughs.


7.    Look After Your Health

Being healthy includes taking care of yourself physically and mentally.  When we feel down about ourselves, it is usually the ones we love who we take our frustrations out on.  So, the more you can do to stay positive and the more fun you can have together, the more your relationship will benefit.  Eat healthy foods as much as possible (but enjoy your dessert and wine a couple of times a week), stay fit and feel good about yourself inside out and outside in!

8.    Take Time Out For You

Extroverts replenish their energies by being around others.  On the other hand, introverts need time to be alone.  I have always been the extrovert and Simon the introvert, so we shared our time together with family and friends, but also alone to meet both of our needs.

Interestingly though, the older I get, the more I need time out by myself to restock.  Taking time away from your partner, by yourself or with friends, is always great for the soul and your relationship.

9.    The Little Things

In relationships it is the thoughtful little things, the small gestures of affection, that lead to bigger and better things and create happiness.  We have always left each other little notes, or sent text messages, and complimented each other.  Sometimes a smile from my husband from the other side of the room can make my night. 

10.    Stay Sexual

Ok, this is where I am not going into our personal lives, but always making your partner feel sexy and desired is a fabulous way to keep your sex life alive.  

And the last thing I would like to add is to be your partner’s best friend.  

Thank you for reading and going on this journey with Simon and me, a trip I loved writing about. Maybe you could write what the key ingredients are for you and your partner because life is too short not to love and be loved!

Read many more of Cazinc's relationship articles here.

Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist.  Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.

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