Why Your Relationship With Your Partner Is Equally As Important As Your Children?
Your children are gorgeous, cute, the beautiful beings you created who so dependently need you and show you unconditional love, so how can you not put them first in your life?
On the other hand, long-term relationships can be beautiful, but emotional, stressful and challenging, especially with the traditional characteristics of living together, such as working long hours, raising children, paying bills and keeping a house clean.
But it is imperative not to underestimate the importance of your relationship and to look after it.
Your relationship with your partner should remain as important as your relationship with your children for many reasons. In fact, focusing only on your children is a bad idea. If your relationship fails, who are the first ones other than your partner and you who feels the effects? Your children. Children do not want parents who continually argue, are not happy and are not great role models either.
It’s crucial to bring some excitement to the sometimes-dull task of day to day life and the responsibilities of child-rearing. I had a client whose first marriage failed because she was weighed down by mundane routines. However, her second marriage flourished because she and her partner made sure not to let the dull things rule their life.
There are other strains on a relationship other than routines and children. Money issues can be a significant burden. Wherever you can, avoid overspending and debt at all costs. While married couples tend to be more financially stable than singles, arguments about money can destroy relationships. Be sure to plan your finances consciously and set the right priorities to avoid spending money you don’t have.
Another couple came to see me on the brink of divorce. They were arguing about everything: money, children, lack of time together and you could forget romance, let alone sex! They were both working full-time jobs to pay off a large home, with a pool no-one ever used, and trying to juggle the extra sporting activities of their children and themselves. To cut a long story short, they sold their home, rented for twelve months and the wife quit her job. She now only works part-time in a role she loves which pays the same rate as working full time. They paid off all their debt, spent more time with their children and now own a home which is full of love.
The secret was that during this time they fell in love with each other again. Trust was built through date nights, communicating and romance. They built up their love for each other, which extended out to their children, who are now living in a happy home with loving parents.
So how do you focus on your relationship and keep things exciting for years to come?
One secret is unexpected gestures to each other to keep the thrill of romance alive.
This doesn’t mean it has to be Champagne and caviar every night. In fact, small gestures and thoughtful gifts are more rewarding and memorable. Compliments work just as well. Pay each other compliments consistently. Compliment looks, how you make one another feel, how proud you are of achievements etc.
Date nights together are also important. It is not only a time to enjoy each other and to be romantic, but it is also a time to communicate calmly about the everyday activities away from the children.
Give your kids the best gift you can by loving and respecting your partner and they will learn from you both what a loving relationship is. Children model our every move. If they witness unhappy parents who are disrespectful to each other, unfortunately this is what they learn and can lead to them having toxic relationships.
Would you like to keep falling in love together daily so you can be beautiful role models to your children?
Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist. Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.
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