Is There A Reason You Are Not Happy?
When’s the last time you hugged someone or someone hugged you? Not just a cuddle, but a real bear hug that you swayed from side to side? One that left you warm and fuzzy inside?
A basic human desire is to connect with other people, and for a good reason. (It was the number one reason I started the blog.) Why?
Because there is substantial evidence showing that forging emotional connections makes us happier.
In an extensive and ongoing study, the lives of a group of people were monitored for an astonishingly extended period. It started all the way back in 1938 when the 268 participants were college sophomores.
What is most prominent finding so far?
Strong relationships are the key to a happy life.
So how can you forge these strong relationships?
Be generous and helpful – for your own sake. Kindness brings kindness – something I tell my children, and myself, often.
When you help someone and make them happy, you’re automatically forging a bond, a relationship. You’ll also feel a sense of accomplishment and joy at spreading happiness. You feel good, which improves your self-image, in turn making you more attractive and helping you make even more social connections!
If you’re skeptical, consider that the connection between generosity and happiness:
In another study in 2012 researchers handed out treats to 20 toddlers, asking them to share them with a puppet. Results showed that, although the toddlers were happy to get the treats themselves, they became even more pleased if they shared them with the puppet!
I did an experiment years ago when I travelled by train two days in a row to attend a training event. On the first day as I stood at the station I looked around and saw everyone looking at the ground or out into space. So, I began to smile at people and say good morning. It was interesting because most people smiled back and said good morning to me also. But what was genuinely remarkable was that the next day people recognised me and we exchanged smiles and pleasantries.
Life is too short not to be happy. We can always travel forward but never go back. So right now, put a smile on your dial, smile at others and think of how you can make a difference, today. You never know what your kindness will do for others, and I know it will bring you so much happiness, as Cazinc blog does for me and our readers.
To understand the “seven deadly sins” standing in the way of happiness, including how a strong desire for control can make you unhappy, read this fabulous book by Raj Raghunathan, "If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?"
If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy? takes readers on a fun and meaningful tour of the best research available on how some of the very determinants of success may also come to deflate happiness. Raghunathan explores the seven most common inclinations that successful people need to overcome, and the seven habits they should adopt instead. Among his surprising findings...
·The correlation between wealth and happiness is much smaller than you'd expect it to be
·Generosity is not only a key to happiness, but a determining factor of long term success
·Appreciating uncertainty, rather than seeking full control of outcomes, is necessary for happiness
A book that will make you happy and you will make our beautiful Independent bookstores happy by purchasing the book through them.
Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist. Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.
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