How To Give Your Sex Life A Boost.

How To Give Your Sex Life A Boost.

Has your sex life been a bit neglected lately? 
Or for a long time?


At the moment does sex seem impossible because there's work, cleaning, working out, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, laundry, kids, family commitments, friends and ironing!  When you do get horizontal, often the last thing on your mind is sex.  You want pass out straight away.

Or you're not in the mood. 

Or you just can't be bothered. 

Soon enough a month has passed and you can't remember the last time you had sex. 



When was the last time you kissed your partner, and I mean kissed them, not just a polite peck?  

Taking time out to kiss passionately can lead to mindblowing sex.

Or when was the last time you had sex out of the “routine”?  Routines are great for things like showering and brushing your teeth, but they shouldn't come into your sex life when variety and excitement are crucial elements in making it fulfilling.

Don’t panic if this is you!  Things are easier to change than you think.  Your sex life is like the reaching the top of the pyramid; you need to build the foundations before you can enjoy fulfilling, mind-blowing sex together.

When you have the foundations right, you do find the time and energy.  There is some work involved to build the foundations, but here are some tips that can guide you along the way.

1.    Be spontaneous

The element of surprise can be very seductive.  Take a shower together, surprise your partner with a long passionate kiss when they are expecting a peck, buy some new lingerie and wear it, or organise a special night out together.

2.    Become healthy

Eating well and regular exercise make you feel better about your body image but will also give you heaps of energy and makes you feel more vibrant and alive.

3.    Be affectionate

If you haven't had sex for a while, then it may be better to build up slowly to get back into the flow.  Instead of trying to go from a standing start to racing speed, ease your way back into the physical by touching when you can and by being considerate of each other.  Touch when you talk. 

Stop to kiss when you walk past each other. Run your finger along their shoulder as they sit reading a book.  Snuggle on the couch in front of the tv. 


4.    Be sensual

Massage is a fantastic way to be sensual.  Massage their hands, feet, scalp, back - wherever takes your fancy (if you don't know how to massage, don't think about it, just do what feels good).  


5.    Be encouraging

Even if you've been together a long time, your partner doesn't always know what you like and it doesn't hurt to tell them, often.  Say what you want and why you love it.  If your partner feels loved, you never know what they may come up with to please you.

6.    Have fun

When was the last time you laughed together?  Put on your favourite song and dance.  Or buy the music that was popular when you first got together and play that for a trip down memory lane.

7.    Write a sexy letter 

If you are embarrassed to tell your partner what you want them to do to you, then writing it down is a great alternative.  It gives your partner time to process what you've said and get into the mood.


8.    Experiment

Learn a new technique together.  Try a romantic weekend away.  Or you could try a sex toy from one of the many on offer.  If you always have sex lying down then try standing or sitting.  If you're regularly on top, then try switching things around.

Remember to share this with your partner.  We need to communicate to have a healthy relationship and sex life, so please have an adult chat about this.  Oh, and be prepared for what is to follow! Have fun...


Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist.  Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.

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