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How To Recover After A Bad Breakup?

How To Recover After A Bad Breakup?

 Joshua Sasse and Kylie Minogue    Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

Joshua Sasse and Kylie Minogue  
Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

After splitting from fiancé Joshua Sasse last year, Kylie Minogue has revealed the emotional and psychological toll this breakup took on her and explained how she needed to get away from the situation by travelling to Thailand with girlfriends.

 

According to The Sun, she was heartbroken by the split and felt she was going to have a nervous breakdown. However, twelve months on Kylie is now positive about the future and realised the break, as hard as it was, was for the better.

If you have had a bad break up, please take time to heal.

If you have had a bad break up, you are probably feeling things you haven't ever felt before, and these feelings will change from day to day.  You don’t have to ignore them, or try to push them away, but rather you should allow yourself to feel the pain of the situation.  If you ignore your feelings and pretend that everything is fine, then you are only lying to yourself.  Give yourself the gift of recognizing that it will take time to heal.  Like Kylie, take time to figure things out.  It is also important to recognise that the end of a relationship does not mean that you failed, or that you were not enough.

Do not worry about what your ex-partner is doing; it doesn't matter.  You are the most important person you need to concentrate on.  Be kinds to yourself.  You may not feel like it, but you should do something for yourself, like meditation, yoga, or just go for a walk. Plan ahead and make your spare time constructive. Find a new hobby or try something you have always wanted to do; it could be the perfect solution to take your mind off what happened and give you something positive and interesting to focus on.  

What you can do.

A technique I give to clients for the times they feel like falling apart is to look up into your visual area and think of a time that made you fall down laughing.  Think of this time often, not just when you are sinking.  When you think of times that made you laugh it becomes harder to be angry or sad.  Keep practicing this technique.  If you can laugh, you know you can handle just about anything life can hand you. 

After a while, you will most likely find that you hardly think about your ex anymore.

 Kylie has learnt to shine again.   Image

Kylie has learnt to shine again.  Image

But if you still can't seem to get past the broken relationship, find a professional to talk to rather than burdening your friends. They often have the right intentions but can sometimes give you the wrong advice as they are often emotionally involved.  Someone neutral is best to help you get through this difficult time.  A professional coach or therapist can teach you techniques to use to ease your pain and start to be healthy again.

The good news is that sooner or later you will start to feel human again and find you are able to laugh and feel happiness.  You may even realise, like Kylie did, that you are better without the relationship.  I have witnessed this with many clients who have been through tough times after breakups or divorce and have come through to the other side happy and open to love again.  

Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist.  Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.

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