7 Sex Tips For Parents
Sex life? What sex life? You're a parent and being so busy that you barely have time to think about your own needs, let alone do anything about meeting them. It can seem like your personal needs don't matter, it's the children that have top priority, and you have to do whatever it takes to look after them, not to mention the sleep deprivation! Your needs are also essential and neglecting them isn't good for anyone, not you, not your partner and definitely not your children.
Ok, you both work, cook, clean, do the washing, bath children, run them around to sport, and the list goes on. Often the last thing at night you want to have is sex! But you are still an adult with adult needs and for you to feel fulfilled they need to be met.
So how do you find time and energy for sex when there are so many other things demanding your attention? Simon and I have raised four children, three to adulthood and one in his teens, so we know the importance of being a good parent and still find time for sex. It takes a bit more planning and effort than in the past, but you need to tell yourself that it can happen and it is worth it.
So how do you have more sex?
Okay, how do you have any sex?
1. Make sex a priority, and it will happen.
Feeding the children quickly becomes a priority when you have nagging children at your feet. Make your desires like that and don't let up until you have received what you need.
2. Find a time that works.
It may be early in the morning before the children wake up, it may be after they've gone to bed, it may be during the day while the kids are at school or creche? You have to make time for each other.
3. Do some things that make you think about sex.
It can be hard to switch your brain from babyland to sex so you may need a little help. Watch a sexy movie, read erotic fiction together, write your partner a hot note, think back to a time when you had great sex (come on you can do that, it can't be that long, unquestionably, you have children after all!), relive how good it felt.
4. Take a shower together.
There is something about getting naked and wet together that can be very erotic.
5. Expect interruptions and don't be put off.
OK you start kissing and you hear a baby cry. You try to ignore it but you can't. So you go off and tend to them and then think the moment is gone. But it isn't. And if it is, try viewing the interruption as a diversion which has increased your appetite for sex not soured it.
6. Don't wait until you get into bed to initiate sex.
When you've been together awhile, it's easy to fall into habits, like falling into a deep sleep as soon as your head touches the pillow, and sometimes it's those habits that you need to break to kickstart your sex life. Sex can happen anywhere so make use of the spaces you have.
7. And the most important thing you need to do is don't give up!
You can find a way to make it happen. Know that your needs are essential and you will function better when they've been met.
Carolyn Rowland has been a relationship therapist and coach for over seven years, working with many couples to produce happier relationships. She now shares many of these ideas, real stories, and information for you on her daily blog. Stay tuned for the very exciting news that Carolyn has a book, written predominately for men on relationships to be released soon. Why for men, because the new book is based on Caz's real life experiences with her clients and what she realised is that men were the ones who needed help.
What others are saying about the book:
"The book is sensational. I have never read such down to earth correct observations and directions. So proud of you taking the time to write this for men. It will make a much difference for us men and our relationships." - Michael.
Check out our other dating articles in the "relationship" section of Cazinc Blog.
Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist. Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.
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