What Do Happy Couples Do On A Daily Basis?
Something that continuously is said to Simon and I is that we are "lucky" to be in a happy relationship. We are "lucky" to still be in love, "lucky" for so many things. But like a successful company, it takes a significant amount of hard work. (Just ask Simon; he'll provide you with a 2,000-word essay on how much hard work it takes to keep me happy!)
Even though every relationship is different, there are some universal basics to the makeup of a “happy” couple. One of these we have noticed together, and I have noticed with all my clients is:
Happy couples always take the time to express and show their appreciation for one another every day. They are extremely grateful for their relationship.
Why is doing this small thing every day so important? Because it will enhance your relationship, making each of you more secure and confident. When this happens you have a way better shot at staying in love, increasing your intimacy and simply being happy in one another's company.
Sadly we have noticed that many couples ignore each other. Not just the quick check of things on their phones before putting them aside and enjoying breakfast and talking together, but really ignoring each other for the whole meal. Even if we are guilty of this over coffee ourselves, on a date night there is one fundamental rule - we put the phones away. They only come out to take a photo of the occasion or for emergencies with the children.
During one Valentine's Day dinner, Simon and I dined at an expensive, classy Melbourne restaurant. There was a beautiful French atmosphere and we even had a gorgeous man playing the violin, creating a romantic mood. But we sat next to a couple who spent the entire dinner scrolling through their phones. Then we looked around and many couples were doing the same. I wanted to go and ask them if they were texting each other, but of course, Simon wouldn't allow this!
There was one couple that broke my heart. The young girl was sitting there waiting patiently for her partner to get off his phone. I saw tears in her eyes. What a waste of an expensive restaurant and of what should have been a beautiful night out. She was obviously embarrassed and felt uncomfortable and unloved.
Date nights shouldn't be like that, of course. They can help to make your life more significant and vibrant as a couple and increase your love. They are essential for you, a time for you both to step away from the circle of life and enjoy being a couple in love. There’s extraordinary energy on date nights (and a little excitement).
Please remember that date night doesn't have to be at an expensive restaurant. It can be going for a walk holding hands, doing the grocery shopping or cooking together. What about a picnic? In between, when you can't get away for a few hours together, don't forget where this article started - with the little "everyday" things, the moments when you are together during everyday life. The words, looks, kisses and hugs. The appreciation. It only takes a few seconds.
And while you’re spending time together, please remember to laugh. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.
Carolyn Rowland has been a relationship therapist and coach for over seven years, working with many couples to produce happier relationships. She now shares many of these ideas, real stories, and information for you on her daily blog. Stay tuned for more on the very exciting news that Carolyn has a book, written predominately for men on relationships, to be released soon. Why for men? Because, based on Caz's real-life experiences with her clients, she realised that men were the ones who needed some guidance and help.
What others are saying about the book:
"The book is sensational. I have never read such down to earth correct observations and directions. So proud of you taking the time to write this for men. It will make a much difference for us men and our relationships." - Michael.
Check out our other dating articles in the "relationship" section of Cazinc Blog.
Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist. Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.
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