A Man's Guide To Buying Lingerie 

A Man's Guide To Buying Lingerie 

Hey guys, here is something you might consider.  Women whose partners buy them lingerie are the envy of women whose partners don't.


Women love men who are able to walk into a store or scroll online to buy their lingerie.  But the problem is most men don't know where to start when selecting lingerie for their partner, which is understandable because it can be confusing enough for women, so we feel for you guys.  What type of lingerie to buy, what size, what colour - how is a man to know?  

Here is a little guide to help you when choosing lingerie for your special someone.
There are a few things to consider before you go out.  What does your partner like, which colours and styles?  Remember that you will not be wearing this - she will, so learning which styles she likes is a great start.  If she is not into lacey, tiny, see-through teddies, chances are if you buy these styles she won't wear it.  So it's important to keep what she likes in mind.  

Check out her lingerie drawer before you leave for the shops.  Look for fabric type (cotton, silk, etc.), colours she loves, and most importantly, size.  She may be flattered if she wears a large and you get her a small but it won't fit her.  Avoid anything that says "control" on the label.  Those items are used to firm and flatten tummies and rears, and she would probably not appreciate receiving them as a gift.  

Another thing to remember is if the store offers to wrap the lingerie let them.  Lingerie will look better in their wrapping as they are professional and will present the items beautifully for you.    Also, if you are uncomfortable in the store, check out online stores that sell lingerie.  You can always start at Victoria's Secret, but most major department stores like Myer and David Jones also sell lingerie.  One of my favourites is French Bikini. 

Next is to think of the occasion for the gift.  Is this to let her know you love her?  If so, something crotchless or see-through probably will not send a message of love.  But, if it is for Valentine's Day or your anniversary, something a little more risqué might be appreciated.  

Styles can often be confusing.  Bras alone have many different styles including push up, plunge, gel-filled, padded, underwire, seamless, backless, strapless, open cup, and unpadded.  A good idea is to take one of her bras with you to the store so they can assist you further for size and style.

If you are purchasing a bra and underwear set, always check out what she has in her drawer beforehand and make note of the size - especially underwear.  Most places sell at least one pair of underwear that match each bra, but some will sell several so you can mix and match.  It will help to know what type she likes to wear too - thongs, briefs, or high cut bikini.

Check out your partners style.  She might like cute pygamas over lacy lingerie.   Image

Check out your partners style.  She might like cute pygamas over lacy lingerie.  Image

When it comes to sleepwear, it can be just as confusing.  One type of sleepwear is babydoll pajamas.  They usually have very thin straps, a plunging V neckline, and are very short with matching nickers.  You will find most of these made out of silk or satin, fabrics that can make a woman feel good about herself.  But, if she feels her breasts are too big or too small or thinks her stomach is too big, you might want to avoid this style.    

A pyjama set might not sound too sexy, but if it is silky, and buttons up the front, it can make your woman feel beautiful, especially if she is a plus size (size 18 or larger).  Boxer short sets are huge with women at the moment.  The tops are tight, with thin straps and usually a V neckline, although there are boxer sets with standard t-shirt tops.  Peter Alexander have some cute and fun styles she might love.


 The main thing when shopping for lingerie is to try and keep in mind what your partner loves.  This shows you care and have taken the time to get to know her.  If you purchase something similar to the lingerie she already has and in colors you know she likes, it will probably make her happy.  But, please remember to keep the receipt just in case!

Oh, and please don't be like the man in the commercial who continues to watch television when his wife comes out in a new lingerie set.  Be the beautiful partner who always comments on his wife's lingerie, whether you have purchased it or not.  Make her feel special every day and you will reap the rewards of a loving partner.


Carolyn Rowland has been a relationship therapist and coach for over seven years, working with many couples to produce happier relationships.  She now shares many of these ideas, real stories, and information for you on her daily blog.  Stay tuned for the very exciting news that Carolyn has a book, written predominately for men on relationships to be released soon.  Why for men, because the new book is based on Caz's real life experiences with her clients and what she realised is that men were the ones who needed help.

What others are saying about the book:

"The book is sensational. I have never read such down to earth correct observations and directions.  So proud of you taking the time to write this for men. It will make a much difference for us men and our relationships." - Michael.

Check out our other dating articles in the "relationship" section of Cazinc Blog.

Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist.  Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.

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Please leave comments below or email Carolyn@cazinc.com.au.

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