Master The Life-Changing Art Of Doing What You Want

Master The Life-Changing Art Of Doing What You Want

“What’s in it for me?”  

“How can I not give a f*ck and feel good about it?”

These are two important and life-changing questions, but they can often be mistaken as selfish ones.  But what I have discovered over the years is many people give so much of their time and energy to people they don’t like and are not doing the things they love. This often results in them becoming angry, resentful and taking their feelings out on the people they love, including themselves and their partners.  Now, is that selfish or are the questions asked above selfish?


Another life changing book for me (I have a few I know!) “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck” by Sarah Knight, is known as a definitive guide to freeing up your time, money and energy.  Reading this book taught me how to switch who and what I cared about, from the people and things that don’t serve me, so I can focus my attention on the parts of life that bring me joy.

Is it time for you to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like, or doing things you don’t want to do?

This is a huge “yes” for me and do you know what a relief it was and a massive weight lifted off my shoulders?

You don’t need to waste your precious time doing deeds that don’t serve you, attending all the functions you don’t enjoy, or holding onto friendships that have been toxic for years.

Excuse the pun, but as per the title of the book, not giving a f*ck means you let go of the guilt, to stop spending time, energy and money on the things that annoy you, or make you unhappy.  Importantly, when you do stop, you will enjoy the things you do and the time spent doing them will give you true feelings of joy.  Letting go of toxic friendships will give you the time and energy to create loving relationships.

So, how can you achieve this while respecting people’s feelings? 

The book teaches you the “Not Sorry Method”.

It is a two-step process:

The first is to decide to let go of things.  

The second is to not care about the thing. 

For instance, you don’t hold party plan type parties because you don’t like going to them, but you still attend regularly because you were invited, wasting your precious evening or weekend time.  But letting go means you can say no without justification; you don’t have to tell them you hate these parties, rather the better option is to simply and elegantly decline the invitation.

This doesn’t mean you should disregard the feelings of others, but you should ignore their opinions. You can’t control the thoughts of others, and really, their opinions are the least of your worries.  This is because opinions don’t matter, but feeling do. You do need to consider other people’s feelings and, while not caring about some things is great, you don’t want your actions to wreck your relationships.

When you begin to do and see things and people you want it is like spring cleaning your mind. Rather than being filled up with toxic waste, you learn to clean it out so you can identify all the items you actually care about.  You shift your thoughts to what you want rather than what you don’t want.  Shifting the negative thoughts into positive thoughts, simplifying your mind and life.

We are only here on earth for a short time, so is it time for you to enjoy a cleanout and begin being with people and doing what makes your heart sing?

Read more about the book here, but please be warned:  Avoid this book if you are highly offended by or sensitive to the "f" word because it's used a minimum of a half a dozen times on every single page!


Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist.  Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.

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