Cazinc is a collective of Melbourne bloggers that explores culture in many forms – from fashion and style, travel, lifestyle and wellbeing, to the culinary and decorative arts.

 

How To Ditch The #1 Thing Holding You Back

How To Ditch The #1 Thing Holding You Back

Do you feel like you are an undiscovered genius, but lost in the daily grind of a dead-end life and career?  If this is the case, you need to ask yourself “What’s holding me back?”  More than likely it is you.

The #1 thing holding you back, which is the biggest obstacle between you and your dreams is negative beliefs.

At one stage of my own life, during my 20’s and 30’s, I was completely stuck.  Overwhelmed by negative feelings.  Living in a home, I didn’t like, struggling to make ends meet while raising four children, and I didn’t know what to do with my life.  I didn’t like myself, which led to unnourished relationships and not being loving others the way I could.  

They were my own negative beliefs, and it wasn’t until I let them go that I could start designing the life of my dreams.

Many people who are “stuck” in their own lives, living like the movie “Groundhog Day” are the ones who can’t believe the changes in my life.  They are the people who say “oh, what are you doing now?”  or “how do you make money from that?”.   They don’t realize that every change is part of my growth.  Even writing the blog this year, is all part of my journey, putting myself out there.  Allowing myself to make errors, but learning from them along the way.  

 

“I am green and growing, not ripe and rotting” – Carolyn Rowland.

 

I also saw this with 99.5% of my therapy clients.  The magic wouldn’t happen for them until they could finally let go of their own negative beliefs and become unstuck.

So how do we develop our negative beliefs?

What we believe is primarily based on the messages we have been raised to believe since we were very young.  Your parents, for instance, might have told you that money is hard to make and that nobody in the family is any good at making money, and that life is always a struggle because we have so many loans and bills to pay each month.  The more you hear these messages, the more likely your unconscious believes it to be true.

Such negative beliefs become a part of your personality, which keeps you from chasing your dreams.

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Have you heard the saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink”?  Reading this article, you might say, I do that, but I am not ready for the change.   You are ok.  I didn’t work with every client who came to see me, for therapy or styling, because some wanted to stay “stuck” in the lives they lead.

 

What do I mean by this?

A gorgeous woman came to see me, and we spent a couple of hours together.  There were tears and laughter, but she had every excuse as to why she was in an abusive relationship and lived life like a work slave.

I knew I could work with her, but at the end of the day, I know it would be a waste of time because there was a part of her that liked being able to whine about the way she was living.  She didn’t like it when I said not to come back next week.  In fact, she became angry with me.

Six months later I heard from her again, and she agreed, she needed this time, and now she was ready for the change.  

After six sessions, she left her husband and job, kept her beautiful home, started up a new business, doing what she loves and now has a fantastic relationship with her children and a new partner.  She is loving life rather than existing.

Where do you start?

Adopt positive beliefs that allow you to have faith in yourself and learn to trust you.

Start by reflecting on who you are as if you were another person.  Begin to admire your strengths, and think honestly about all the great things you can say about yourself.

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If you can't-do this, it is a good sign you are not ready.  But hey, why not plant a seed in your mind.  When you are ready, you can water the seed, and it will grow.

Ask others what they honestly admire about you?  What they think you can achieve in life?

Use these reflections from you and others to form a base to grow a giant pyramid.  Remember, the larger the base, the higher the pyramid, so the base formation is necessary.  

Develop a “can do” attitude, not “I can’t.”

Set goals, short-term, and long-term.  They can start out small, then grow.

When you believe you are talented, valuable and your ideas are worthwhile, then you will have your base to build your pyramid.  You will have something to offer back to the world, and the negative attitudes you have been carrying like a teddy bear for many years will cease to hold you back.

It is at this point where the magic starts and your journey begins.

Now ask yourself, is it my time to shine?  Keep blossoming and growing.  All you need to do is keep planting the seeds and nurturing them.  Something I practice daily.

Thank you for reading.  We can only grow if you continue nurturing us, by sharing our articles with others, and spreading the word about Cazinc.  You never know who you might be secretly helping.

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