How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Partner?
As you read in our article, 50 Fabulous Ways To Love Your Partner, the first way was to love yourself first.
Many of our readers found this interesting, but:
How can someone else love you if you don’t love yourself?
What I have found with clients is your self-esteem isn’t only about you. Your self-esteem has a significant impact on both your relationship and your partner.
Like the domino effect. When you fall out of love with you, you fall out of love with everyone and everything. All falls like the dominoes. So when a client comes to work with me on their marriage, the first point of call with both parties is to work on them individually on their self-love.
Low self-esteem will eat away at your relationship, and no one can fix the problems but you.
Relationship problems are 99% the result of low self-esteem. We can all feel down or insecure from time to time, but this feeling can turn into a strong anxiety if low self-esteem persists for an extended amount of time. Stress can lead to paranoia, where you might start thinking there isn’t a reason for your partner, family, or anyone to love you. These thoughts often manifest as jealousy or as abject dependence.
Low self-esteem predictably enough, often is deeply rooted in your unconscious from your past, which could be caused my parents lack of self-esteem, divorce, health or financial problems, or the area you grew up. But what is important to remember is even though past experiences may damage you, you are still responsible for how you think of yourself today.
So how to improve your self-esteem?
1. Read our article – What Are The Three Life Changing Words? and watch the video. It is brilliant.
2. Try to leave the past in the past, which is often easier said than done. Why? We often hold onto our past right or wrong as we hold onto a teddy bear. It is called comfort and struggle to let go. Please remember that negativity doesn’t have to define who you are, and you will find that letting go is the best thing you can do for you and your relationship.
3. Let go of negative overgeneralizations, which are a primary cause for low self-esteem. If you have been put down a lot in your life by your partner, parents, or even a boss or work colleague, remind yourself that it’s not always your fault when things go wrong. If something is your fault, please keep in mind that your mistakes don’t have to define you.
Also, know that you are going to make mistakes in life. They are only mistakes if you keep repeating them, but learning curves when made once.
4. Learn to accept the differences between you and your partner and strive to grow together. We often match ourselves with our opposites. The ying and yang. In my case, I am the ying, and my husband is the yang. I dance on tables, and he catches me. Black and white is often the circumstance with most couples. We marry what we are not, so rather than trying to change each other, why not learn to communicate with each other, which is easier when you learn to love yourself.
Accepting your differences is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship.
So, when you encounter a difference, stay curious with your partner. Ask your partner questions instead of resisting or condemning it. Look at your differences as an opportunity to expand your horizons.
Cheers to healthy relationships. We are always a work in progress, ourselves, our partners, our family, our friends and our health. All great values to keep growing.
Thank you for reading, sharing with your friends and on social media. This is how we grow, so we can keep inspiring you to grow.
Read more articles about love and relationships in the wellbeing section of our blog.
How do you boost your self-esteem? Please leave a comment below.