Do We Need To Be Mean To Keep Him Keen?

Do We Need To Be Mean To Keep Him Keen?

“Tell a man I hate you, and you have the best sex of your life.  Tell him I love you and you probably will never see him again” – Samantha Jones - Sex And The City.

Have you been “that woman” who lives and breathes for her man, she adores the ground he walks on, only to be his door mat?   On the other hand, you see women who are absolute, (pardon the pun) bitches to their guys and he absolutely adores her?

Does it need to be this way?

According to our “fairy godmother” and ultimate gay friend, Gerry Stergiopoulos, author of “Treat Them Mean And Keep Them Keen,” no it does not.  Gerry states you must become the successful seductress, who shouldn’t spend her whole day making wontons, muffins and self-raising soufflés, who ends up looking exhausted and a mess.

His first advice is simple.  Get out of the kitchen girlfriend, get into the bath and make yourself look fabulous.  Order him Uber eats!

“My mother said it was simple to keep a man: you must be a maid in the living room, you need to be a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom” – Jerry Hall.  According to Gerry, no wonder she is divorced!

So why should you treat him mean?  Gerry’s book is about tough love.  You might be shocked, but what he says works.  

Every woman has the right to spend her life with a fantastic guy in a happy and balanced relationship.  But like most things in life, there are rules for successful dating to be followed.  Don’t worry, you will make mistakes, but there are some that must never be broken.  When dating, the way some women behave, (sorry girls), is an absolute train wreck.

Learn how to become more interesting to him than his phone.

Learn how to become more interesting to him than his phone.

The dating game is an art form that needs to be played with style and finesse.  There are things you must lie about, (especially shopping – who said that “Caz”!! – never), things you must hide and things you must do to keep him on his toes.

Growing up in Greece, Gerry witnessed the art of the Greek woman.  They may not be of great beauty, but they can make men do many things without realizing they are doing it.  She is the ultimate, crafty and skillful “successful seductress,” who is in total control of the game of dating.  The seductress treats her men mean, and they love it!

So what is their secret?

The seductress isn’t mean and nasty like some of you are thinking.  She is a woman of self-confidence, who drives her man crazy about her by being elusive.  She isn’t taken for granted, and she isn’t so readily available.  The seductress is the “lucky-bitch” we all crave to be.  She has men falling at her feet.

Think of women like the beautiful Italian big screen goddess, Sofia Loren.    A seductress with the lethal combination that defied all the myths of femininity and drove men wild.

So how do you become “bad”????

Or the television!

Or the television!

To be bad, you must be ruthless.  You don’t want your guy to see you like Julie Andrews, (Sound Of Music for you Gen Y readers), or Mary Poppins, the girl next door.  Many women say they are attracted to bad boys, so become a dangerous woman.  

There are two types of guys here.  The one you want to be friends with and the one you want to date.  If he is the later, it is essential to give him the alluring but discreet “I like you” vibes early on to show you are into him.  Don’t pussyfoot around, be ruthless.  

Gerry has some rules to follow here:

-    Do not agree to dates straight away
-    Don’t immediately reply to his text
-    Don’t be too available with your mobile phone
-    Never ring him
-    Keep the conversation short on the phone

Men are not from Mars, and we are not from Venus, we are both from the same planet, and both do want the same things.  The problem is we are biologically different.  We both want the same conclusion; it is just the approach and timetable that are different.

Men too have been hurt, have ex-partners and can be needy and emotionally demanding.  But the good news is they do want to fall passionately in love, but their timing is different to ours.  They like to take it slowly.

So here is the trick: for the man to fall in love with you, you have to make the man think it was his idea!  Let him be the hunter and give him the thrill of the chase.

When you commence dating, remember nothing is in the bag until the sixth date, so you need to ensure you are in control of the dating process from day one, especially on the first three dates.

Date One:

Should be in a café as this isn’t a date, it is a preview, an audition to see if you want to invest time into this guy.  Keep it short and sweet, around 45 minutes, one-hour maximum.  But even if all is going well, you MUST leave early to ensure he loves the preview and wants to invest in another date!

Date Two:

The second date can be slightly longer than the first, but remember, it is still a preview and you again shouldn’t reveal too much of yourself.  

On these dates, Gerry’s rules are: don’t talk about your problems, give him an idealized version of you.  Further down the track share your problems, and your guy will want someone to share with, but not on the first few dates.  And definitely, don’t talk about your exes!  He doesn’t want to sit with another man’s reject.

Giving him an idealized version of you is not cheating, it is playing smart.  Play the “successful seductress.”  If this is going to go anywhere, then there is time for him to find out the real stuff.  But by then he will be attached and in love with his gorgeous goddess.

On the first few dates, Gerry advises no kissing.  Make him wait and leave him yearning for more.  

“The trick is to unfold gradually, like a beautiful flower.  Do not hand yourself over on a plate like a suckling pig!”

Caz and husband Simon, who is always keen!

Caz and husband Simon, who is always keen!

Carolyn Rowland is a qualified NLP Master Therapist, Advanced Practitioner of Matrix Therapies, Time Line Therapist, Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, has a Diploma for Business and Life Coaching and A Professional Image Stylist.  Carolyn is happily married to her husband Simon, and raised four beautiful children, who are now young adults and a teenager.

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