The Essential Guide To Being Asked Out

The Essential Guide To Being Asked Out

No matter whether you are in your teens, twenties, or fifties, you can be asked out once you learn a few secrets.  Many have viewed the Bachelor and Bachelorette series on tv.  Shows that are providing false hope to many, manipulating people into false feelings of love.

Even though I have been married for 23 years, I have coached many singles to become confident in finding a partner.  Here is an article which might help you to grow in the dating game.  It is also an excellent article for non-singles, great ideas to keep the spark in your relationships.

You don’t need a bright pick-up line to have a guy become interested in you.  The art of attracting a man isn’t through being aggressive, but instead through being proactively receptive to a man’s advances.

When it comes to being asked out, you will be surprised how easy it is.  Once you put out the intention that you want a man, they naturally become more aware and attracted to you.

You don’t need to hunt, or flirt aggressively, to land a date.  You also don’t need to go out and get hair extensions or wear tight, revealing clothing either.  These items will attract attention, but not the focus you are looking for.  Instead, be pro-actively receptive to the men around you; they’ll do all the work, you only need to give them the go-ahead.  Even that small invitation can be nerve-wracking, so here are three easy steps on how to attract a man:

    Make eye contact

    Smile

    Say anything

Okay, those “easy” steps look kinda daunting laid out like that, so let’s talk about them.


Practice making eye contact with people you know, then everyone.  Throw your shoulders back confidently and smile.  Confidence and friendliness are beautiful.  When you are sitting in a café, or at the train station, wherever you are, strike up safe conversations. (please be safe, only speak with people you feel safe with).

The above is excellent practice, especially if you are a shy person.  Practicing the art of flirtation, something the European women, mainly French, have mastered, with others, so it becomes easier to flirt with the person that interests you.  Flirting comes in the form of open, friendly looks, and communication.

Think of the other person.  They can be terrified of approaching you, and genuinely have no idea of what to say.  So when you speak to them, don’t worry about trying to sound smart, funny, or even relevant; be yourself and say anything.  You might be pleasantly surprised and find they might relax and become eager to chat back.  Please remember to keep the conversation light and positive, as this isn’t a time to vent, fall apart, or speak about broken relationships.  People are attracted to confident, fun and happy people.


The best technique for starting conversations is always giving them more information than they ask.  For example, when someone says, “How are you?”, don’t just reply “Great.” Try saying, “Great.  I just spent the weekend at a beach house with friends.”  Or when someone says “How is your day going?” you can reply, “It’s been fabulous, but I have this song stuck in my head, and it’s driving me crazy.  Do you know it?”  It may sound crazy and outlandish, but people love conversations that open up for fun and silly communication.  If they act cold and aloof, they may be terrified of talking to you.  So if they don’t respond, don’t take offense.  Brush it off; pat yourself on the back for practicing your new skills in “perceptivity” and move on.

If you do wind up in a long conversation and find you have something in common, like exercise, music, sports, movies, cooking, etc., suggest that you get together and do that common interest sometimes (in a public place for safety).  Exchange numbers if you feel safe, and say, “I look forward to hearing from you.”  At this point, let it go.  If they don't call, no worries.  If they do, bonus!


The most important thing to remember is to put out a lot of lines before a fish, a fish worthy of your love will catch on.  So please stay positive, practice being confident, friendly and outgoing, and be patient.

Best of luck and remember to have a little fun!

What are your best dating tips?  

Did you find this article helped?  

Please share with others who want to fall in love.

Carolyn Rowland has been a relationship therapist and coach for over seven years, working with many couples to happier relationships.  She now shares many of these ideas, real stories, and information for you on her daily blog.  
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